9: Map – Guiding

Let us sit down here and not get up again until we have figured it out. It seems to me that we are in possession of pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that we picked up along the way – a smile once glimpsed, a child crying, a mirror begrimed by layers of shyness, a summer garden, torrential rains – that we know will show us something of the most profound importance were we to get them to fit together, but try as we might, every attempt we make fails. No piece will join with any other.

The jigsaw puzzle would make a map of sorts that would in one brief glimpse tell us everything – everything about our journey that now seems so pointless and without direction, but in the map on the jigsaw puzzle it will make complete sense. It would show to each of us who we are and why we have come here on this journey, and what we are supposed to do to make our awareness of things and of ourselves more bearable, but especially, it would reveal the end of our journey, what it is we were destined to fulfil.

For me, anyway, without my map, I am so ut­terly lost. Everything is pointless to the point of being oppressive and horrid and contaminated, as if set up to be like this as a practical joke devised by a malevolent spirit whose own purpose is to tor­ment to the utmost all those who are cursed by self-consciousness. My map would show me how to convert that curse into a blessing.

But I have not the slightest idea of how to pro­ceed.

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