Lost in memories, I can sometimes forget myself. I have no idea whose life it is I am recollecting.
Sometimes I feel that I must be a time traveller sent on a mission from the far, far future, and that is why I feel so strongly that I do not belong here – but I have forgotten who I really am, and I have forgotten my mission. I have been accompanied all my life by an impression that there is something I should be doing, but I cannot remember what it is. Sometimes the intensity of this sensation is unbearable. Sometimes I feel that I am waiting for my memory to recover, and sometimes I forget that that is what I am waiting for.
In the absence of my mission to direct me, I have always thought that my life has yet to properly begin, that it hasn’t actually started yet.